Thursday, June 11, 2009

Tooth #30

A little while ago I went in for my 6 month dental appointment. Of course, I had a filling that the dentist suggested we repair. The filling was not causing any problems but, there was a small crack developing and it would need to be replaced soon. I agreed to come back in the next week. As I was leaving I was thinking 'I guess it is better to get it taken care of before it really starts hurting . . .'

Here is the part where I will let you in on a little known fact about me. I hyperventilate when I am nervous. Not super-nervous, just the normal kind. I don't know what the deal is. I am suppose to be some fearless swash-buckling red-head- not the case. At all. Needles make me hold my breath and lose color in my face. Flying over water makes me cry. (ask Todd about our honeymoon to Oahu)Walking over bridges makes me feel dizzy. This should surprise most people as I was totally hard-core growing up. Somehow age has made me a total wimp.

Back to the tooth. I go in for my appointment and am doing an excellent job of not thinking about the procedure about to take place. The dental hygienist calls me back and then informs me that my doctor would be by to get my mouth numb. Heart pounding. The needle. My mouth. My mouth and a needle in it. Oh man- I am tensing up. Why had I agreed to this again? My tooth probably wouldn't become a problem for at least 2 months. Stupid. My doctor scoots up to me on his doctor swivel chair thing and gives me some line about topical. Everyone knows that topical doesn't do a good job numbing, but, I suck on the swab covered in the nasty stuff anyway. I am such a good listener. Then he pulls out the needle. My stomach squeezes itself into tiny knot and I can feel it hiding away from the pending doom. What, if it hides then I won't be so nervous? My eyes are not hiding- and I can see that silvery weapon of freak-out headed for my mouth. I look away.

By the way, the phrase 'just a pinch' is one of the meanest in human existence. The dentist pulls on my cheek and tells me to expect my just-a-pinch. I think I actually roll my eyes and glare at him. I will skip some details here as most people know what the next part entails. My breathing gets faster and more shallow. I am clawing the arm rests of the chair and trying not to tear up. This is so crappy. Finally, the dentist backs away and says to give it a minute. Then he asks if I am alright. I just shake my head slowly. He assures me I did great and then goes wherever dentist go while they wait for you to numb up. He is back and we are ready to party. I hear him giving the hygienist some overly-explained instruction. It is clear that she is new. Not usually a problem. They do the whole cleaning-off-the-tooth before starting thing and the girls sprays water on my face. Alright- she probably slipped. The drilling begins and I can feel the vibrations all the way up my right ear. I am working on breathing. No need to freak out now, I am numb and we aren't into the jaw pain yet. The dentist asks the girl to clean off my tooth again- more water to the face. Really? I am getting little splashes all over my chin and on my cheeks. I make a face. They don't notice because they are talking about Memorial Day. I guess it is fine to talk about things like holidays, but can you watch where you are pointing the water? Back to drilling. I am really wondering at this point if my face ever gets wiped off or if the hygienist notices what she has done. They share some inside story about his mom. You know the kind where they mention half of the information but don't need to explain the rest because they already know what is being talked about. Good for them, but I am wondering now about the dentist's mother.

More water to the face. Not kidding. Finally we get to the part where they use the little light thing to solidify my new filling. The hygienist clunks the thing down on my tooth and says that she has forgotten how annoying the light is. She forgot? That is like me saying, I have forgotten what May was like. When was the last time she used it? 3 weeks ago? Maybe I am being overly harsh- but after half hour of water-in-the-face I am thinking 'How does a new chick have old memories of anything in the dental world?' I think I might be really sensitive now. Plus the jaw aches have begun. She clunks the light thing down again and I know the end is near.
The whole thing is finally over and I get to wipe all the water off of my face. I still don't think the hygienist has noticed. I get up to leave and think to myself 'Why did I choose to go through pain just to avoid potential pain?' Oh well, I guess tooth number 30 is safe from a broken filling for at least another 5 years.


Holly said...

haha. I don't mean to be insensitive here, because I too am afraid of needles etc. But I died laughing as I read this. You could write a book! You've got skillz girl!! :) lol.

Mandy said...

Is there anyone who enjoys the Dentist?? Seriously they are mean. They know what it freakin feels like so why can't they be a little more sensitive.

I think I heard my friend talking about some sort of Spa like Dentist atmosphere.... Can you imagine? Laying there, getting your feet rubbed while the Dentist is cleaning your teeth. Ha, ha!!! Count me in, then maybe my nerves will unravel a little.

The Freed Family said...

I hate the dentist more than almost anything. When I got my root canal done he numbed my side up really good and gave me 4 shots on the side and 2 right in the roof of my mouth (those ones are killers)....and while he was doing it I couldn't talk, but when he was done I kindly reminded him that he just numbed the wrong side and then he had to give my 4 more shots. Nice.